Excellence:

• The first goal is laudable, but actually two different goals.  It would make for a stronger application to re-write this application to keep each goal focused upon one aim. The second goal is also good, but very broad.  You may want to re-frame this goal to focus on the public masterclasses as that is the most appealing use of grant funds in this context.

Impact:

• Provide more details about the mentor program.  How many students in the school receive lessons? Are instruments provided for those students who do not own any?
• The Cancer Center program also needs more details.  This and the school based mentorship are very appealing to grant panels and often organizations will use grant funding to support these projects while re-appropriating non-grant funds for items such as instrument purchase/repair.  It's best not to included expenses like these in a grant application as public funds are best spent on items directly affecting the proposal, e.g., the number of performances at the Cancer Center
• M/P: More specifics here are needed.  Include social medial like/followers, size of mailing list, number of campaigns, etc.

Management:

• Evaluation Plan: Include more detail about the evaluation models for the mentor series and how data from the model will affect future programming. Thank you for including the pre- and post-assessment forms. It would be good to see student and parent reviews as well.